I believe there is at least one poison that hinders gratitude, and that is comparison.

You have probably heard the saying, “Don’t compare your behind the scenes to someone else’s highlight reel.” Social media is especially a vehicle in which comparison can be unknowingly encouraged. There is the underlying pressure to let the world know that you are producing, you are important, people know you, you know people, you’ve seen things, and you’ve been places! These subconscious standards we place on ourselves can hinder us from being grateful for the truly fulfilling lives we do live. Let us not forget who God has placed in our direct sphere of influence, and where God has planted us for this season. Let us steward well the opportunities we do have, and not be so concerned with the ones we wish we had. For every season and every opportunity comes with preparation and a price. Don’t let the trap of comparison hinder your gratitude for the blessings currently sitting in your lap.

1. You must lead in the areas you want your team to lead in.

Everyone has probably heard the saying; “You can’t lead where you haven’t been.” I’ve personally heard this saying in about every worship/leadership conference I have attended. However, it is so true. If you want your team to connect spiritually during the week, if you want your team to come prepared knowing all the songs and their parts, if you want the team to genuinely pursue God’s presence and display excellence in their craft, YOU HAVE TO LEAD IN THOSE AREAS FIRST. In saying this, I am not saying once you lead in these areas, all your team members are going to miraculously become perfect and all your leadership problems will be solved (If anyone has that secret, feel free to share.) However, I am saying that excellence and “buy in” are a process. However, we need to display the pursuit of it and not expect our team to do something we ourselves aren’t pursuing/doing.

2. Whoever is closest to the broom does the work.

I was first introduced to this phrase via Pastor Stan Mitchell when he came and spoke at one of our launch team meetings back in May. This phrase has stuck with me ever since. When being part of a church plant, or a church in general I believe, you need to become ok with doing tasks that aren’t specific to “your job description.” This is something that also needs to be transferred, taught and displayed to your team. Our pastor always says, “We must never allow title or position to dictate what we are willing to do. And more will get done when we are not worried about who gets the credit.” I can say our pastor easily displays this to our team not only on Sundays, but in his day-to-day living as well. This makes it an easy transfer to our team, not just as a fancy saying, but something we live and breathe at Connect.

3. Always have the bigger vision in mind, so that the daily obstacles will never hold you back.

Recently, I read this quote somewhere, and it has really helped me put words to many situations that can be discouraging or uncomfortable. As leaders, no matter how much vision we lay out or jot down or how organized we are, we all have those days where we ask ourselves, “Seriously?” Something that has really been an encouragement to me lately is when something doesn’t go as planned, learning to step back and put things in perspective. One thing that helps with this is reading or hearing other people’s stories. Hearing stories of people starting churches in libraries, setting up church every Sunday at 5:00 a.m., only having one keyboard player as your total band, makes my what seems to be catastrophic problem a little less catastrophic. So, in the moment when a musician doesn’t show up, or an audio guy calls in sick, or the song transition is a disaster, or the video playing doesn’t have audio to it because they didn’t un-mute the channel, just remember… it can always be worse.

This past Saturday, I was binge watching movies on Netflix while folding laundry and decided to watch You’ve Got Mail. Most men dislike this movie because of how slow and slightly unrealistic the plot is, but hey that’s what kind of movie a lazy Saturday calls for, especially when you are doing something as exciting as laundry. Anyhow, there’s a scene towards the end of the movie where Tom Hanks & Meg Ryan are sitting in her apartment; she is sick and he has come to attend to her and apologize for basically shutting down her business. If you are unfamiliar with the plot, google it; or better yet, watch the movie; it’s worth it. However, the particular dialogue exchange that takes place here really caught my attention, and was actually quite refreshing.

Tom: “It wasn’t personal.”
Meg: “What is that suppose to mean? I’m so sick of that. All that means is that it wasn’t personal to you, but it was personal to me. It’s personal to a lot of people. And what is so wrong with being personal anyway?”
Tom: “Uh, nothing.”
Meg: “Because whatever else anything is, it ought to begin with being personal.”

In our culture today, we are taught and shown self first. We are taught that competition and getting ahead of the person beside you, by any means possible, is what it takes to get to the top. Materialism and consumerism is what fuels us, and having the latest and greatest is what is celebrated. We never slow down. We avoid getting personal.

If anyone understands these struggles; it’s me. My dad is an extremely successful businessman. I was looking at spreadsheets and balancing budgets before I had my driving permit. Busyness and waking up and getting “stuff” done was important. I became and still am today a task-driven person. I am not saying getting tasks completed and being driven is not good; I just believe that when that becomes your primary fuel and focus, it can become unhealthy and create imbalance in your life.

Challenging myself daily to slow down, celebrate the little things, learn how to live in the now instead of always in the future, and more importantly put PEOPLE over policy and task, is crucial. Whether it’s exchanging the typical “Hi, how are you? Good. How are you?” greeting with a simple, “How is your day going?” with the coffee counter worker and being willing to actually listen to their response or sending an encouraging text to a team member asking them if they need prayer for anything, taking steps towards being personal with people is what we are called to do. We are called to care, to listen and to love. It’s all about PEOPLE. “Because whatever else anything is, it ought to begin with being personal.”

Recently, November 19th to be exact, I turned 24 years old. To most of you, I am a spring chicken. To me, this meant I am now almost a quarter of a century old. With every birthday that passes, I am reminded of the question I often ask myself, “Am I doing/pursuing everything I’ve always wanted to do?” A better question might be, “What have I always wanted to do, but have not done because I’ve allowed fear to hold me back?” As I began to make my list, which to my surprise was longer than I had hoped or want to admit, I made up my mind that this year I am going to really make an effort to do the things that scare me, because as we all know… you only live once.

With that being said, one of my desires has always been to start a blog. Not a blog dedicated to what I eat for lunch or the products I choose to use for my daily hygiene, but a blog that can help equip young worship leaders as they pursue trying to lead a team of people and more importantly a church. This task can more often than not be an overwhelming juggling act. My desire is that by me sharing my story, my experience and my day-to-day planning and preparations, I can help others and maybe even save someone some time, which is one thing we all wish we could have more of.

So, it is with great joy that I may now cross off the first thing from my list, which for my task-oriented, “Type A” personality is more of a joy than you know. I now challenge you to go do something that scares you. What is something that you’ve always had in your heart to do, but have allowed fear to hold you back? Because as you know… you only live once.